Food for Thought: Influences
by Ardith Hoff
A friend of mine, who taught rhetoric (speaking and writing) to college freshmen, assigned her classes to write essays on the two or three people, or incidents they thought had the most effect on their development as a person. The occurrences or behaviors they were to report on could include either positive or negative experiences. She was often surprised at how many of them cited either teachers (classroom or Sunday School) or preachers as the people who had influenced them most rather than parents (or grandparents) and peers, who came in second and third. Another interesting thing she said is that their reports of how they had been influenced was almost equally split between positive and negative. Teachers either encouraged or destroyed their self-esteem. Preachers either inspired or disheartened them with guilt and shame. Whereas parents, grandparents and peers most often either provided good or bad role models. The students either wanted to emulate or disavow their behavior. My friend concluded that the “self” is learned. Who we will become is determined early, and having positive influences is crucial to how each of us will behave as an adult. That said, people can overcome bad influences and may be the better for it.
Having had negative influences does not absolve us from taking responsibility for our own actions. At some point, we have to make our own decisions, based not on what others have done, but on what we know is acceptable or unacceptable behavior. Just because a person’s father was an alcoholic does not mean that he or she will become one, even if they might be genetically predisposed to addiction.
“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
“But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.” Timothy 6:11
As adults we can choose our own influences, whom we will emulate and whom we will reject. God gave us the ability to choose.
“Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” Proverbs 22:24-25