New Reminders: Loss and Grief
by Ardith Hoff
The word “grief” is usually used to describe losing someone you love due to death, divorce, or separation. Similar feelings often surface after a major life change such as job loss or a disaster such as a damaging flood or fire. The ache inside can feel as if your soul is being crushed under the weight of a deep, paralyzing sorrow. We might find ourselves asking how a loving God could allow such a painful thing to happen. The dull sadness often bleeds into denial or anger, even anger at God for allowing such a terrible thing to happen. Grief is unpredictable, affecting each of us in slightly different ways.
Most of us have experienced a loss of some kind or the death of a pet, or someone we knew well, by the time we were a school-age child. Even small children understand that loosing something represents a sad occasion. They might not understand fully, but they do have a basic understanding that when we lose something or someone, we feel sad. The level of sadness varies depending on how deeply each person feels the loss and what has caused the loss. The simple loss of a goldfish might not engender a huge reaction. A move to a different home might represent a more difficult change, depending on whether the move will cause the loss of seeing friends or family members or just requires an adjustment to living in a different house.
God made us for intimacy and life, not separation and death. When we grieve, our deepest selves declare that something is wrong with this broken world. Death, divorce and separation were not part of God’s original plan for humanity. The Bible tells us these things came into our experience as a result of disobedience when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. “For when you eat of it you will surely die” Genesis 2:17. Ever since the day mankind left the perfection of paradise, we have known that something is wrong. Our bodies and emotions react against what should not be.
At some point, we all have to come to grips with the fact of our own and our loved one’s mortality––that our lives on Earth will end. It can be difficult to broach the topic with others, but we have to acknowledge the fact that our bodies will not last forever. As Christians, we all have the promise of salvation and for life to continue in heaven, if we repent of our sins and accept Jesus as our personal savior. As believers, we know that a much better day is coming when God himself will wipe every tear from our eyes. On that day “There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” Revelation 21:3-4.